


crumbling down

by Rosemind



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, F/M, M/M, Poor John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-10-13 11:00:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17486891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosemind/pseuds/Rosemind
Summary: Thomas should have known that something will go wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

Thomas should have known that something will go wrong. 

It was an average day- of course, as average as a goddamn zombie apocalypse can be. Thousands of living corpses- both human and animal- has turned life into living hell, making it impossibe to go anywhere near big cities. The survivors were forced to run in fringes and outskirts, chased with the smell of rotting flesh and numerous destructions everywhere.

They could get used to that smell, but no one could ever get used to zombies (as if it was ever possible). Not only the crowds of monsters who would eat you alive or infect with that horrible virus, but also a constant fear- for yourself and for your beloved ones.

Him and John have discussed it a few times, always a John's initiative. He wanted to make it quite clear.

"If I ever get infected- don't look at me like that, Thomas, we know it can happen- I want you to kill me. With no hesitation."

Thomas always argued with that, even though deep down he knew it was the most practical solution. There was no cure for the virus that infected the whole continent. And with other part of the world isolating them, it was obvious they won't get any help soon. 

So killing an infected person was a good thing to do, but he couldn't pull himself to it. He would never be able to kill anyone from their group, even Alexander. And definitely not John.

"I couldn't," he simply replied wrapping his arms around John tightly "Don't you ever say anything like that."

John sighed, turning to face him "Thomas.."

"We survived through so many things already," Thomas continued looking him in the eye "There were so many times when we were one foot in the grave, but we still managed to live. Don't you even start thinking about dying. I need you so much here. I love you."

"I love you too," John said quietly "Sorry."

They stayed like that for a long time, just nuzzling into each other and feeling warm and content- even with that horrible smell in the air.

It couldn't be peaceful for such a long time. They haven't met big groups of zombies for three months, since Phillip was born (dear God, what a mess it was, having a baby in a middle of a forest surrounded with living corpses).

And yet, they were having quite a peaceful tour for food now. Six of them, others staying in the camp and protecting Eliza and the baby. Weird that Alexander and Angelica were hunting with them- usually they both wouldn't leave Eliza's side. 

They were wandering over the trees carefully, always keeping an eye on each other. Angelica just got a bird, but it wasn't enough to feed twelve people, so the hunt continued. 

That's when the nightmare started.

No one saw from where they appeared, but a group of zombies suddenly attacked them, willing to eat their fucking brains out. They responded immediately though, fighting that groaning crowd back to back. Thomas just let his mind turn off and shoved his machete into the rotting flesh and pulled it out, and shoved and pulled again...

Suddenly it all stopped, the only sounds breaking the sudden silence were their panting breathes. Finally Hercules spoke up.

"Anyone hurt?"

A common question in these days, with "hurt" meaning "bitten by a freaking zombie and infected to become one". And every one of them said no- Alex, Angelica, Laf (with Herc visibly relaxing) and Thomas. But then..

No answer from John. And a terrified whimper.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing someone he loved and cherished and worshiped so much in such pain and dismay was never supposed to happen.

Thomas froze at his place, staring at the deep cut on John's arm, the skin around it already turning sickly green.

Someone choked down a sob. Alexander inhaled sharply, but for the first time in his life he wouldn't dare to drop a word.

John looked Thomas straight in the eye, his eyes wide and pained- poor baby, he never seemed so scared.

"You promised."

John managed to squeeze out these words with his body literally shaking with fear. He tried to keep at least his voice from it, but it didn't work at all.

"John..."

"You promised me, Thomas," John's voice broke, a single tear rolled down his dusted face "You p-promised, there's nothing we can do about it..."

This couldn't be happening. There was no way that fateful talk will turn out to be prophetic.

Seeing someone he loved and cherished and worshiped so much in such pain and dismay was never supposed to happen. His very mind, his brain, even his body refused to accept it.

"No." 

Thomas heard it suddenly, as if through the fog, but couldn't figure out the voice.

"We can still save him," Angelica stated, and once again Thomas couldn't help but be amazed at her persistence. When they all were struck by fear, she kept thinking. It was always like this- even when Eliza gave birth to Phillip, and now when John needed their help.

She kept talking and the fog in Thomas' head faded away slowly. And then out of sudden he realized what she was suggesting.

The plan, to put it mildly, contained... quite a few difficulties. They could not predict John would survive the thing, the virus affecting his blood clotting. No one could tell he'd live after the thing, his immune system running like shit. Infections other than the zombie virus could kill him 'cause they didn't have medicine or vitamins or even goddamn clean bandages.

"We'll have to amputate the forearm," Alexander was statturing, uncommon thing for him "but how, there's no medical equipment..."

"We have machetes," Laf reminded slowly. He was obviously starting to panic, but at least he tried to come up with something, Thomas thought bluntly. He still couldn't say a word.

"And we have a few bottles of vodka in the camp, might work as anaesthesia?" Herc added with everyone nodding. This was the cruel reality now: with rare access to actual medicine they sometimes used alcohol as one. Before the world turned into hell, John was a surgeon and this horrible necessity drived him insane.

A sudden scream from John stopped their discussion.

"Stop!"

It made everyone jump up on suprise and finally the rest of the fog in Thomas' head went away. As his mind cleared, he made a decision: they had to save John. No matter what.

So Thomas reached out to him, and took him into his arms, John hugging back tightly.

"Thomas, you can't save me," he whispered into his chest, voice muffled and raspy and his entire body shaking "There's no chance I survive through such a thing, what's a point..."

His eyes rolled back and suddenly John went limp in his arms, Thomas barely managing to catch him. 

Shit.

"This thing is kicking in!"

"Quick, we need to get to the camp, as fast as possible!"

Thomas quickly picked unconscious John up bridal style, sprinting towards their hidden camp in the woods. He couldn't see the others, but didn't bother checking: he knew that they gathered around him keeping a few metres away, ready to protect him if any zombies suddenly appeared.

Within minutes he was in the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this is short???? But at least it's something????  
> I've been away for quite a long time (college is so goddamn hard), but now I'm back and I'll post more soon! I really wanna continue this thing and maybe write others?? Comment please!


	3. 3

Emotionless. Empty.

That's how he felt now.

Last few days were living hell, even compared to all previous threats that they've come through. In these threats, they at least had a clue on what they were doing. Run, hide, stab, kill, repeat in this or any other order. Now it was different.

They were so lucky to have John with them, considering that he was the only doctor in the group. He knew how to cure sicknesses, how to heal the wound. If there was no medicine at all, he would use herbs; John always knew what to do in that kind of situation. Basically, by now everyone owned their lives to him.

And now they couldn't help John, who saved them so many times, and Thomas hated it.

John didn't belong here. 

John could've been in a bar going out with his friends, drinking mindlessly and leaving sloppy kisses on Thomas' cheek as he picked him up after. 

John could've been in the hospital, stitching some wound, his face concerned and concentrated. He could've been staying up late, coming home exhausted after 10 or so operations, getting in bed just to kiss him and drift off to sleep.

John could've been in their flat in New York, in their bed, soft and healthy. Or in the kitchen, making pathetic attempts to cook breakfast. Or in the living room, painting and humming some stupid melody to himself.

He was not supposed to be in this old abandoned cabin that they found in the woods, his body abused and corrupted.

Thomas was sitting by his side staring blankly. Staring at his love's sweat covered face, with the dried tracks of tears, still pained even in his sleep. 

"Are you alright?"

Angelica's voice was soft, softer then usual. It'd be pretty uncommon for her even in old days, but now everyone tried to be as kind to him as possible. Like if everyone spoke to him any harsher he'd break down or something. Fools. He became emotionally empty the second John got unconscious. 

Thomas didn't bother answering, just shook his head a bit to show that he acknowledged her presence. His red and pained eyes stayed at John's face.

Angelica sighed as she carefully sat down beside him. Her hand carefully, softly landed on his shoulder "Please Thomas, you need some sleep."

"Can't," Thomas responded, surprised by the hoarsness of his voice himself "Must be here. With him."

"But he's sleeping now," Angelica was, undoubtedly, tired, being the leader of their group and all, and therefore fast irritated. She tried not to show it though. Thomas respected it.

"He's sleeping," she repeated "And while he is, there's nothing any of us can do..."

"No," Thomas replied blankly. He stretched a bit feeling as if every bone in his body snapped. How long has he been sitting in this exact pose? 

"Thomas, I know what it's like," Angelica blurted out suddenly "To worry about people that you love." she continued after few moments of silence.

"I know that you want John to be fine. We all want that, but you are the one who loves him so much. And I know it's hard for you, but right now there's nothing any of us can do. He's in God's hands now."

Thomas didn't respond. Angelica sighed and just as she was ready to leave she noticed how his whole body was shaking as Thomas started crying.

She hugged his stiff figure hesitantly, and surprisingly Thomas hugged back tightly. 

"It's all my fault," he whispered, crying into her shoulder, as Angelica was gently stroking his back "All is my fault, I should have made him stay in the camp, he was too tired, I should have known..."

"You couldn't predict it," Angelica murmured softly "You know you can't know everything, Thomas." She pulled back to look him in the eyes "Please get some sleep, right here, beside John. I'll watch him while you do."

Thomas sniffed wiping his face with his sleeve. His little breakdown was gone, and they both knew they would never mention it again. They never did.

"Promise to wake me up if anything happens," he whispered looking at John's pained face once again "Good or bad, anything."

Angelica nodded "Will do," she promised, and so Thomas layed down beside John, listening to his ragged breath. 

"Please come back to me," he pleaded quietly squeezing John's survived hand in his own "I love you."

And he felt asleep.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Pain.

That was the only thing that flooded over his mind, like a tsunami wave. He was a hot ball of pain and fear and he couldn't even remember where the pain came from, he just wanted it to stop, to end, somebody to end this...

Then it was gone, leaving his body and brain sore and still pained, but now in a dull and nagging way. And a burning sensation in left shoulder. 

He couldn't actually remember much from when he fell into unconsciousness. It was as if people rushed over him all the time and he sometimes could fill some water or a piece of food on his lips. 

But there was always someone particular: someone who stayed with him all the time. He could feel someone wash the sweat off his face or clutch his hand.

He couldn't understand who it was, and never really cared. He was numb and in pain, as if all memories in his hand has erased. 

Then suddenly John fell out of his delirious state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhh hi! I know what y'all thinking about me not updating at all, and I'm SO SO SO sorry about that!! I'm gonna try updating more often♡♡
> 
> I really hope you people like this story.. p.s. this chapter was gonna include some flashbacks, but they're coming later, I already have 'em written!
> 
> Comment! Love ya!!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been thinking of this au for quite a long time, and 'cause no one writes for it, I will ;)
> 
> I'll try to update soon and post it on my Wattpad too. Comment if you like this fic and leave kuddos!♡


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